Evil Dead Burn is the latest statement that makes it overwhelmingly clear that the franchise is evil, but also unquestionably DEAD. It would swallow your soul, if it had one.
A Masterclass in Cinematic Exhaustion
The Evil Dead franchise, long hailed as the gold standard of “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” independent horror, has been flailing listlessly since the 2013 remake. The reboot-era feature-length films have proven over and over that they lack personality and purpose. They have devolved into a tedious exercise in watching characters that nobody could possibly care for suffering the most cringe-inducing injuries by the most boring of bad guys.
It’s soulless filmmaking built on the back of genre-defining horror excellence. Making matters worse, Sam Raimi’s ongoing production credentials stain a legacy that would have remained perfect had he left the keys to the Olds Delta 88 in the hands of Bruce Campbell.
This franchise, once a beacon of what can be achieved with a few good friends, a camera, and unhinged practical gore and raw creativity, has officially decayed into an assembly-line cash grab. Burn doesn’t just fail to ignite; it smothers the last remaining embers of its legacy under a pile of derivative tropes, stomach-churning violence, and an agonizingly dull script.
Evil Dead Burn proves once again that this is a dead franchise, and I am sick to death of pretending it’s not.
Anything to Pretend There is a “Universe”
A couple of good buddies go on a fishing trip to Evil Dead Lake. A deadite slaughters everyone and goes for a stroll before finding a completely different family for carnage to ensue.
The you have it: continuity!
Evil Dead Rise perfectly and inextricably dovetailed into the narrative of Evil Dead Burn. WHAT LUCK!!! This family just so happens to have a Kandarian dagger in their possession. It’s a plot two layers deep in derivative nonsense and it feels more like a studio chore than a narrative choice.
The setup is so creatively bankrupt that it drags the audience through an excruciatingly slow-burn yielding zero payoff. The plot doesn’t so much drive forward as it spins listlessly like a hamster wheel. Maybe if Evil Dead Burn spent less time trying to lay the groundwork for future sequels and spinoffs, it might have actually hit hard as a standalone movie.
The Only Thing More Mundane Than the Plot? The Characters
Setting the bar safely in the basement, Fede Álvarez created some of the most banal and uninteresting characters in Evil Dead (2013). It was the most ordinary characterization in the franchise, up to that point. Crafting blank slates must be his superpower, because I have yet to find a character worth cheering for in his entire filmography — a blasphemous trend for a franchise that birthed one of the most revered anti-heroes in horror history.
Director Sébastien Vaniček follows right in Álvarez’s empty footsteps. Cardboard cutouts everywhere. The writers try to season the story with a pinch of intergenerational horror, but they leave nobody to cheer for and nobody to care for. It’s just more meat for another slaughter. The dialogue is lifeless at best, pointless at worst.
Just to be clear, the acting isn’t terrible. The script is terrible. Souhelia Yacoub, Hunter Doohan, Tandi Wright and everyone else does their job well considering the lack of workable dialogue from the writers. For these actors to make lemonade, they need lemons. Turds simply will not do.
Evil Dead Burn, Another Vehicle for Cringe-Worthy Violence
Álvarez isn’t perfect, but at least in 2013 his mean-spirited approach to visceral violence felt horrifically fresh. Wincing in imagined pain while a young girl severs her own arm with an electric knife felt exhilarating during the remake. Over a decade later it feels contrived, punishing and completely devoid of creativity.
I’ll confess, the sequence of a fountain pen piercing an ear drum, sound effects and all, was expertly done. Still, it landed like last year’s Christmas ham on a hot and humid July night — with s dull thud and massive disappointment — completely unappetizing. Brutality is part and parcel of horror, but the hollow voyeurism feels wrong.
What’s worse, Evil Dead Burn trades tactile practical effects for sterile CGI enhancements and jump-scares. The violence isn’t shocking or inventive. It’s scripted, sanitized and forgettable.
Evil Dead Burn – Could it Get Any Worse?
Sébastien Vaniček gets the award for the WORST ending in all of Evil Dead history. Keeping this spoiler free, here is what’s in store:
- God-awful CGI
- Horrendous deadite sound design
- Ridiculous setting and circumstances
- Dead-on-arrival power-tool violence
- A pool of industrial tar
- A Kandarian dagger that looks more like a prison shank made out of a toothbrush
And just when you thought you survived the worst of it… a post-credits scene. Really?
Evil Dead Done
It’s time to face the brutal truth: the Evil Dead franchise is dead. There is nowhere left to go and the ride isn’t fun anymore. At this point, the only thing that could save this franchise is Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling stepping into the boots of Ash Williams. Even that instills doubt.
The Necronomicon didn’t need another chapter, and this franchise didn’t need another soulless cash grab. It’s time to lock the Book of the Dead (and Necronomicon the album for god’s sake) in a safe, seal it in concrete, and give it a Jimmy Hoffa style dirt nap.
Evil Dead Burn (2026) - A Scorched-Earth Review - Malevolentdark
Director: Sébastien Vaniček
Date Created: 1970-01-01 00:33
1.5
2 Responses
Totally true, It was probably the correct decision to not try to following in Ash Williams footsteps because they could only fail. Still I think this franchise fails to achieve what Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) did, and it keeps sliding the wrong direction. Thanks for reading Lionel!
Tell us how you really feel😀The franchise has a tough job because it will always be compared to the original and will never have a lead as charismatic as Bruce Campbell’s Ash.