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Top 10 Crumble Porn Movies

Dilapidated – Top 10 Crumble Porn Movies

If you’ve seen any reviews by me you know, crumble porn is my comfort genre.

Crumble Porn adj: the aesthetic appeal of abandoned buildings. Usually involving the reclaim of nature over man-made structures.

It is my personal belief that everything has a soul, or can accumulate one. The laughter and tears shed in the confines of your home, the sorrow in prison, the hurt in a hospital. These things hold a tangible weight that has to go somewhere after you’ve left. It has to create something. Land, buildings and more notoriously stuffed animals are known to hold onto these emotions creating within themselves a personhood of sorts.

This list will primarily speak on the connection of old buildings, but this is far from a finite list. Here are my top ten horror films where the house is the main character.

1. Crimson Peak (2015)

Taking place at the turn of the 20th century aspiring novelist Edith struggles to make a name for herself in the publishing industry. Refusing to conform to the romantic box society would like to put her in she finds comfort in the macabre. Thomas sharp, a young inventor struggles to find donors to fund his endeavors leaving him and his sister nearly destitute. Through a stroke of tragedy, Thomas takes young Edith as his bride whisking her away to his crumbling mansion, but decay seems to know more than just wood in this house.

“Ghosts are real. This much I know. There are things that tie them to a place, very much like they do us. Some remain tethered to a patch of land, time and date, the spilling of blood, a terrible crime. But others, others that hold onto an emotion, a drive, loss revenge, or love. Those, they never go away.”

I will never recover from this movie. When I think of spooky houses, I think of Crimson Peak. There really is no comparison. This is the quintessential vibe. Edith is the moment and no one can convince me otherwise.

2. The Deep House (2021)

Two urban explorers take to the bed of a french lake to explore a house said to be trapped beneath the waves. Ready for fame the two intend to show the world the creepy innards of the oddly preserved mansion and all its even stranger residents.

I am an urbexer so this movie was genuinely made to make me shit myself, and that I did. It was the perfect murky blend of the price of fame, creative locations, and dark secrets. I’ll get into this later, but nautical horror is the second of five of my favorite subgenres and this movie is genuinely a chefs kiss. The way places can retain their spookiness even after a natural disaster is such a cool concept to me and this is such a creepy showcase of that. it’s possibly the watery pinnacle of crumble porn.

Top 10 Crumble Porn Movies - Winchester (2018) - The sprawling Winchester mansion in San Jose, California
The sprawling Winchester mansion in San Jose, California

3. Winchester (2018)

Grief and turmoil can do a lot to a person, but what about when that turmoil is an arms company blamed for millions of violent deaths? What if those deaths are on your hands, and what if those ghosts won’t move on? Psychosis or haunted? Doctor Eric Price is sent to the extremely private Sarah Winchesters’ home to determine her mental state after roomers of ghosts build following some extreme home renovations. Winchester (2018) tells the story of his visit.

“Profiting of such a thing as violence and death. That is a wickedness that follows you like a shadow.”

If you read my review you already know my undying obsession with the real-life Winchester house. This movie itches a part of my brain that not many historically driven movies do. If you’re into subtle nods to real history and dramatic lighting, this is it.

4. Cabin In The Woods (2011)

Five friends, one cabin, monsters, what could go wrong? Following a group of college kids trying to survive being hunted in the woods proves more difficult when someone is pulling the strings.

“Okay, I am drawing the line f****** here, do not read the Latin.”

Who doesn’t love the intentional subversion of expectations and tropes? Cabin in the Woods pioneers an entirely new genre of house horror and gets the hype it has for good reason. I won’t spoil anything for you but if you are into horror that isn’t what it seems, this is your Saturday night binge.

Release the Beasts!
Release the Beasts!

5. Ghosts of War (2020)

Nearing the end of WWll a group of soldiers is told to hunker down in a french chateau and wait for orders, but what happens when the house is already occupied? Who would you rather face, the enemy, a vengeful spirit, or PTSD?

Speaking of horror that isn’t what it seems, this film is one of those rare exceptions for a genre that I hate, but it worked so well that I’ve come back at least three times to give it another go. There is nothing more I can say to you without spoiling, but I’ll leave you with this. Playing with history, PTSD, and humans meddling in worlds they shouldn’t is one of the twenty themes in this movie.

6. The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

A group of siblings has all taken to dealing with their ghost-riddled childhood differently, but when tragedy strikes they are forced to come back together at the place where it all started. What will give way first, their skepticism, sanity, or their right to life?

“Ghosts are guilt, ghosts are secrets, ghosts are failings and regrets. But most times, most times ghosts are a wish.”

This is not a movie but listen. I’ve never found a haunted house horror that encapsulates what I feel growing up in a haunted house. It pulls apart the physiological implications that being haunted could have through the scope of multiple conditions.

7. Insidious (2010)

Following an accident that leaves a little boy in a coma it becomes clear that his empty body is just what the ghosts ordered. Guided by the eccentric Elise his grief-stricken parents are willing to try anything to get their baby back, even if it means trudging up ghosts of their own.

“The Further is a world far beyond our own, yet it’s all around us. A place without time as we know it. It’s a dark realm filled with the tortured souls of the dead. A place not meant for the living. That’s where Dalton is.”

This is without a doubt my favorite pallet cleanser. Now if you’re my partner your next question is, “are you out of your mind?” Yes. Truthfully this has always been in the top few of my favorites not for the cinematography, but because of its eerily close tread to reality. It plays perfectly on fears everyone has like if the coat on the back of your door is staring at you and the innate primal fear of baby monitors. If you saw my contributors bio you know that I am a retired spiritualist, and the way this movie plays with the absurdity of that industry is astounding.

8. The Awakening (2011)

*** No Streams Available at This Time ***

Post WWl was a time of spiritual boom. With the rise of mediums and fortune tellers came quite a lucrative market for skepticism. Part-time novelist and part-time spiritualist debunker is sent to a boarding school to sort out some ghost business.

“Without science, people don’t believe in nothing; they believe in everything.”

Okay, I swear I will get a list of my favorite tropes up someday, but one of the main ones is the spiritualist cynic sent to debunk a haunted house that is actually haunted will always be my favorite. Niche, I know, but it has a surprisingly lustrous catalog. This plays with the idea of cinematic lighting as a character that is used to further the plot of the story as much as the dialog and it’s done beautifully. With spooky cameras, emotional turmoil, and what I can only describe as painfully dramatic.

Top 10 Crumble Porn Movies - The Lodgers (2017)

9. The Lodgers (2017)

Bound by sin and a haunting lullaby, twins Rebecca and Edward are chained to their ancestral home. Ready to be free Rebecca is willing to do anything it takes to escape the life already laid out for her to live.

“There are worse things in the world than hate.”

Speaking of painfully dramatic. I recently did a separate in-depth review of The Lodgers (2017), but here are the spark notes. Creepy siblings, a crumbling mansion, and historical accuracy is a cocktail for poison I will drink gladly any day.

10. Woman In Black (2012)

When a lawyer is sent to clear up the life of a deceased woman he is confronted with more than a few odds and ends. Dealing with his own set of emotional turmoil now he must sort that of a ghost ready to burn the world to the ground.

“A man may be accused of cowardice for fleeing away from all manner of physical dangers but when things supernatural, insubstantial and inexplicable threaten not only his safety and well-being but his sanity, his innermost soul, then retreat is not a sign of weakness but the most prudent course.”

Classic horror media has a special place in my heart. Where our forefathers saw horror and how it shapes us today is such a cool concept to me and I think the only story that could really reveal it is “Fall of the House of Usher”, but I’ll keep my opinions to myself. This is classic goodness served best with popcorn.

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