Bits and Pieces Reviews – Scare Package (2019)

Welcome to the first installment of Bits and Pieces where we’ll be reviewing the best, worst, and most middling of horror anthologies. The first entry is an example of the latter. Scare Package (2019), consists of 7 shorts including the frame narrative in which Rad Chad teaches a new employee how to run his video store, “Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium” while they watch and discuss horror movies. It suffers from its diversity with a mixed bag of shorts but, fortunately, has a decent ratio of good to not-so-good shorts so it’s easy to recommend. It does nothing to challenge horror but, to its credit, it doesn’t seem to be very interested in that.

Cold Open

The anthology starts with “Cold Open”, a slightly meandering meta commentary on the horror genre and its staples. In it, Mike Myers (yes, really), blunders through a generic setup in order to make a name for himself. It’s a fine intro that serves its purpose in setting the tone. It’s very clear that this will be a horror comedy with lots of self referential humor and very few surprises. The characters are paper-thin on purpose but they’re likable enough that most viewers won’t mind the time they spend on this short. Most of it, anyway.

This segment dragged on for a little longer than it needed to, though it’s hard to imagine what could be omitted without impacting the overall quality. The jokes were funny. The dialog was mostly serviceable. The acting was expected. So what’s wrong with it? The plot was a bit weak to begin with as it’s one built on on predictability and overdone elements. Can a short about tropes be engaging even if it utilizes those tropes? Can a cliche about cliches be fresh?

It’s hard to say but the segment as a whole isn’t very convincing.

One Time in the Woods

The next short is titled “One Time in the Woods” and centers around a group of friends gone camping. During this trip, they encounter a stranger going through some horrifying changes. That’s hardly important though, since this serves as a showcase for practical effects more than it does a coherent story. It’s an effective showcase though. The effects are ridiculous in the best way possible. The actors all seem to be having a good time, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, and it’s probably the funniest section of the entire movie. “One Time in the Woods” is the highlight of Scare Package. It doesn’t have a lot of substance but that’s not the critique it might sound like.

M.I.S.T.E.R.

“M.I.S.T.E.R.” is, like the previous short, pretty funny though a lot less impressive in regards to its effects. That’s fine though because it doesn’t seem to be about the effects. There’s not a lot of meat on the bone which also means there’s no more than needs to be. A man joins a group of men’s rights activists and finds out they’re all hiding a pretty big secret. It’s got a couple of surprises and culminates in an ending that’s pretty happy, all things considered. It’s a short that’s as easy to recommend as it is difficult to talk about. Not for fear of spoiling, it’s just one of those “go watch it” things. So go watch it!

Girls’ Night Out of Body

“Girls’ Night Out of Body” is about a group of girlfriends that commit a little bit of larceny and pay a hefty price. Or do they? This is the first of the shorts that has more under the surface. There’s a lot to say, elsewhere, about the role women play in horror movies. Despite classic characters like Lieutenant Ellen Ripley, most women are little more than victims in horror movies. This short sees a subversion of this trope, with the women becoming monsters themselves. Two do so unwillingly but the last one gives in, knowingly transforming to be like the others. Whatever the reasoning, it’s clear the main characters are not interested in being victims. Not only that, but they take joy in acts of violence. This short might be inscrutable to some at first but its message is surprisingly thought provoking. The cinematography leaves some to be desired, many shots look as if they’re filmed through a layer of vaseline, but it’s also going for more than the other segments were. This one is worth watching and discussing but may be hamstrung by its length. At the same time, the messaging likely wouldn’t benefit from a longer run-time. That said, this is, if not the best, the most interesting short from this anthology.

The Night He Came Back Again: Part IV: The Final Kill

Which makes the next segment more disappointing than it might otherwise have been. “The Night He Came Back Again! Part IV: The Final Kill” is as trite as its title would suggest. In it, a group of friends try to deal with a killer that won’t stay down. This short struggles with the same issues that “Cold Open”, and the frame narrative for that matter, does. This is clearly a spoof of horror franchises that have run long enough to clothesline themselves. It knows what it is but the lampshading can come off as cowardly. “Look guys” it seems to say “I know I’m silly and contrived and devoid of substance but I’m pointing it out so that makes it fine!” Whether it works or not will vary depending on the viewer, but it fell short for this viewer. That said, it was pretty fun and funny with some of the most outrageous lines and dialog. This short is great for viewers who just want to have a good time, but not much else.

So Much to Do

“So Much to Do” is a bit more complicated in plot and theme. In short, a mysterious group buries a man alive. The man comes back as a spirit and possesses an unsuspecting woman and uses her body to take care of some unfinished business. It’s not that this short isn’t trying to say something, it’s more that what it does say is kind of a mess. It’s very easy to form theories about what the meaning of this short is, but maybe not in the way the creator intended. It doesn’t read like a grab bag of themes so much as it does a mishmash of metaphors that fail to come together. All-in-all, it’s little more than a precursor to the finale.

Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, Horror Hypothesis

And what a finale it is. The frame narrative has, up to this point, been a very thin, sometimes tedious, process of getting from segment to segment but it culminates in fun reveals and a Joe Bog Briggs cameo that’s should resonate with a lot of horror fans. It was a fun, if messy, ending. The plotting doesn’t make sense, nor does the sense of space, and continuity is basically hypothetical at this point. Does any of that matter with this type of movie though? Probably, but it’s fun enough that it’s easy to overlook all that other stuff.

Conclusion

Scare Package clearly isn’t a deep study of the genre but it’s obviously not trying to be. Even the most thought-provoking segment seemed content with its run-time so it’s hard to criticize. There is some surprising depth along with unsurprising vapidity but that’s par for the course with horror anthologies. So long as you know what to expect, you’ll likely walk away from Scare Package satisfied. It’s no hidden gem but it is underrated.

Bits and Pieces Reviews – Scare Package (2019) - Malevolentdark

Director: Aaron B. Koontz and Cameron Burns

Date Created: 1970-01-01 00:33

Editor's Rating:
3